Thursday, June 30, 2011

WSJ article on the Male Biological Clock...

On June 25, 2011, the Wall Street Journal published an article called
What's That Ticking Sound? The Male Biological Clock  Men are also at the mercy of age when it comes to having kids  by Jennifer Vanderbes

The article expects readers to focus on the statistics reported.  It's intended to be a wake up call for men or, more likely, an attempt to strike fear into the bulging egos of the aging, wealthy male populations in large cities such as New York.  Whether or not the science is accurate or conclusive, I am most struck by the content of the first two paragraphs.

"Several months ago, my friend Anna called to complain about her boyfriend of eight months. Bombarded by media warnings about the female biological clock, he wanted to make sure that Anna was fit for childbearing before the relationship moved forward. He had taken her to a fertility clinic where a reproductive endocrinologist drew blood to check her ovarian reserve and injected radioactive iodine into her uterus to ensure that her fallopian tubes were clear.

Anna is 32. Her boyfriend is 52."

Yes, there are men who strut around wealthy, urban centers such as New York, dismissing women much younger than themselves, due to potential fertility issues.  They proudly pronounce to their buddies and, sometimes, the women that surround them that that they would never be with a woman over XX years old (28, 32, 35, pick your poison) because they want to have children without a problem.

What the women who struggle with these men (e.g., "Anna") are failing to see is that what these men seek is not a loving, compatible life partner.  They are seeking an accessory.  A beautiful, sexy, somewhat complicated, but not too demanding baby factory.  Such an accessory goes great with a Patek Philippe, is the finishing touch on a 911, and will round out the complete man by providing him with an "heir".

For G-d's sake, "he wanted to make sure that Anna was fit for childbearing before the relationship moved forward.

Wow, it really sounds like he found his soul mate!  Do these people have any inkling what it means to love another human being?  And how compassionate do you think Mr. 52-year-old-bring-the-cow-to-the-vet-before-I-buy-her will be toward a child?

If Anna and her "boyfriend" are truly considering having a family together, shouldn't that be based on a desire to be, I don't know, together?  Together, despite whatever obstacles they might encounter.  Together, for richer or poorer (even if the the Porsche gets repossessed).  Together, in sickness or in health (even if fertility treatments, egg/sperm donor, adoption are necessary and even when Mr. 52 becomes Mr. 62 and Mr. 72 and Anna has to change his diaper when she is, ironically, a mere 52...actually, I'm sure their teenage son won't mind changing Daddy's diaper!!!).

I am amazed at how none of these thoughts seems to have occurred to Ms. Vanderbes.  Instead of writing this article, trying to explain to Mr. 52 that he might not be as fertile as he thinks, Jennifer should be trying to save her friend, Anna, from such a heartless relationship.  And helping Anna to work on her self-esteem so she doesn't feel the need to pair up with a man who behaves in such a cold manner.


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