Showing posts with label ivf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ivf. Show all posts

Thursday, June 30, 2011

WSJ article on the Male Biological Clock...

On June 25, 2011, the Wall Street Journal published an article called
What's That Ticking Sound? The Male Biological Clock  Men are also at the mercy of age when it comes to having kids  by Jennifer Vanderbes


The article expects readers to focus on the statistics reported.  It's intended to be a wake up call for men or, more likely, an attempt to strike fear into the bulging egos of the aging, wealthy male populations in large cities such as New York.  Whether or not the science is accurate or conclusive, I am most struck by the content of the first two paragraphs.


"Several months ago, my friend Anna called to complain about her boyfriend of eight months. Bombarded by media warnings about the female biological clock, he wanted to make sure that Anna was fit for childbearing before the relationship moved forward. He had taken her to a fertility clinic where a reproductive endocrinologist drew blood to check her ovarian reserve and injected radioactive iodine into her uterus to ensure that her fallopian tubes were clear.


Anna is 32. Her boyfriend is 52."


Yes, there are men who strut around wealthy, urban centers such as New York, dismissing women much younger than themselves, due to potential fertility issues.  They proudly pronounce to their buddies and, sometimes, the women that surround them that that they would never be with a woman over XX years old (28, 32, 35, pick your poison) because they want to have children without a problem.

What the women who struggle with these men (e.g., "Anna") are failing to see is that what these men seek is not a loving, compatible life partner.  They are seeking an accessory.  A beautiful, sexy, somewhat complicated, but not too demanding baby factory.  Such an accessory goes great with a Patek Philippe, is the finishing touch on a 911, and will round out the complete man by providing him with an "heir".

For G-d's sake, "he wanted to make sure that Anna was fit for childbearing before the relationship moved forward.

Wow, it really sounds like he found his soul mate!  Do these people have any inkling what it means to love another human being?  And how compassionate do you think Mr. 52-year-old-bring-the-cow-to-the-vet-before-I-buy-her will be toward a child?

If Anna and her "boyfriend" are truly considering having a family together, shouldn't that be based on a desire to be, I don't know, together?  Together, despite whatever obstacles they might encounter.  Together, for richer or poorer (even if the the Porsche gets repossessed).  Together, in sickness or in health (even if fertility treatments, egg/sperm donor, adoption are necessary and even when Mr. 52 becomes Mr. 62 and Mr. 72 and Anna has to change his diaper when she is, ironically, a mere 52...actually, I'm sure their teenage son won't mind changing Daddy's diaper!!!).

I am amazed at how none of these thoughts seems to have occurred to Ms. Vanderbes.  Instead of writing this article, trying to explain to Mr. 52 that he might not be as fertile as he thinks, Jennifer should be trying to save her friend, Anna, from such a heartless relationship.  And helping Anna to work on her self-esteem so she doesn't feel the need to pair up with a man who behaves in such a cold manner.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

The Final Count (drum roll please...): 18!!!

Now, I know there are a couple other egg freezing blogs out there where the women get 30+ eggs.  But the reality is that, at least according to their website, NYU's average is 14 (note: I was not a patient of NYU).  My doctor set my expectations at 8-10.  And they say it takes 15-20 for a good chance at having a real, live, unfrozen baby.

I am quite happy with my 18 little bundles of hope.  What does 18 mean to me?  It means that I don't have to go through a second cycle.  It means that I accomplished what I set out to do.  This doesn't guarantee that I will ever have a biological child, but I feel that I've done what I could to give myself (and future husband???) a fighting chance.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Coming Soon...the FINAL COUNT!

Now, for all of you saying, "she's got this great boyfriend and I'm doing this alone", I was also doing this alone.  But I got lucky and met someone about a month and a half ago.

This was really tricky.  I was about to start the egg freezing process.  I could've put it off for a few months, to see how the relationship progressed.  I mean, it's a complicated thing to tell someone you just started dating that you are so focused on your fertility.  But I decided to stay the course and just hope for the best.

While he has been fantastic, there was definitely some vacillation in the beginning.  He was concerned about how this would effect us as we were trying to get to know one another.  I was quick to tell him that he didn't need to be involved; I have friends who could drive me to the egg retrieval, administer the trigger shot, and provide moral support.

I was concerned about how this would impact our potential sex life.  I mean, this would definitely take me out of commission for a while during the important first months of our being together.  Did I expect him to wait?

Extraction Day!!! (Sunday, June 26, 2011)

Physical: Feeling swollen this morning, which is good.  If I felt completely normal, I would worry that there weren't potentially 20 little eggs waiting to be extracted.  I am a bit hungry, having had nothing to eat since last night.  But my procedure is early this morning, so it won't be long until I can eat.

Emotional: I am a bit trepidatious.  Will it hurt?  Amazingly, I never got extremely emotional or crazy from the hormone shots.  I know that each woman reacts differently, so I believe that I have been lucky.

This is especially important to me because, unlike those married women undergoing IVF (which the fertility clinic is teaming with), I don't have a husband.  What I do have is a new boyfriend who has been incredibly supportive.  Throughout the process, I have feared that I would have some sort of emotional upheaval that would send him running for the hills.  But, alas, we have survived and he has been an absolute savior, including getting up at an ungodly hour this morning to make sure I made it to surgery on time.

The funny part was when the nurse asked him for his sperm sample!  I had to immediately intercede that we are not making embryos today!  Please don't fertilize these eggs!!!  That could've been the straw that sent him running, but instead he joked about it and offered (privately, to me) to go hang out in the semen sample production room, especially if they had good magazines/movies!

The Procedure
So, after being hooked up to an IV, they walk me into the Operating Room and sit me on the table.  I position myself as instructed and answer the nurses questions about my identity.
...

Next thing I know, I'm waking up to the sound of my perfect new boyfriend's voice!  I'm in the recovery room and can't believe that the procedure has been completed.  No pain, no discomfort.  I waddle to the car and, with a quick stop at the pharmacy and grocery, head home to convalesce.

Injections: Day 9 (Friday, June 24, 2001)

Physical: The title of this post is misleading, because after my morning injection of Ganirelix, there were no further injections.  The doctor decided that my follicles are mature enough to trigger tonight! (Today's Test Results: 20 follicles visible, 16 are big, 4 are dinky, estrogen 2672)  That estrogen sounds ridiculous, if you ask me!

Emotional: Amazingly, considering the level of my estrogen, I'm still as sane as I ever was.  I'm very grateful for this.

I'm afraid of the trigger shot.  There are no two ways about it, the needle is long and I'm a chicken!  I brought my shooter to the doctor with me this morning in order to give him a crash course in administering the trigger shot.  The nurse insisted it doesn't hurt, but I don't believe her.

Evening update:  The trigger shot really didn't hurt!!!  I am very sensitive to needles.  When they take my blood at the doctor, I can't stand it.  But amazingly, the 1.5 inch needle in my butt, into the muscle, was barely noticeable.  I kept asking if he was sure it was in (probably not a question men like to hear in any other circumstances ;).  But, GOOD NEWS LADIES, it was in and it was completely painless!

Injections: Day 8 (Thursday, June 23, 2011)

Physical: Generally, I'm fine, but feeling a little swollen, fragile, and just not 100%.  I left work at 4pm because there was no reason to tough it out and jeopardize my health. (Today's Test Results: 13 are big with some behind, estrogen 1850)  With the follicle count, it seems like there's a bit of gamesmanship going on.  Understandably, the doctor doesn't want my expectations to be built up, so they've stopped telling me as much about the smaller follicles.  That's fine.  I know there are at least 17 there somewhere!  Grow babies grow!!!

Emotional: Amazingly, considering the level of my estrogen, I'm still as sane as I ever was.  However, I'm probably less fun than normal because all I want to do is chill out at home and watch movies.


Is anyone reading this?  Tell me your thoughts in the COMMENTS section below.  Have you considered freezing your eggs?  It took me about two years of thinking about it, researching, and getting comfortable with spending the money before I was ready.  But I have to say, as soon as the doctor's appointment was made, I felt like a weight was lifted, like I could stop grasping straws and trying to make the wrong relationships work.

Injections: Day 7 (Wednesday, June 22, 2011)

Physical: The swollen feeling continues, but it's nothing that is changing my life.  I can still do most normal things.  I'm going to work without a problem.  The major difference is no exercise (I normally run and lift weights) and nothing else to physically strenuous.  (Today's Test Results: 13 follicles were measured, but 3 of them are kinda dinky, so call it 10 big, estrogen 1057)

Emotional: I feel fine.

FYI, there was no doctor's appointment yesterday and nothing exciting happened, so I didn't feel the need to post.


The Doctor's Take
Today, the doctor joined us (the ultrasound nurse and me) during the ultrasound.  She was quick to tell me that I only had 10 decent sized follicles.  That is good, but I shouldn't be too confident that I won't have to go through a second cycle of egg freezing in order to get the desired 15+ eggs.


This definitely put a damper on my enthusiasm, but I also chalked it up to her desire to set my expectations low so that I would likely be happy with the outcome of this cycle.